Part 4: The Dread Pirate Peep

The Dread Pirate Peep

Captain of a ragtag group of misfits known simply as “Peeps.” Raids the galaxy for riches and survival. 

First Contact: 21 April, 2019

Somewhere, not too far from Earth, a small fleet of rooster class rocket-ships are waiting and watching. Over the course of the last Earth year this fleet has been observing the events taking place on Earth, trying to determine the best possible moment to intervene. Their goal: to cause discord and in that chaos, raid supplies from the Bunny fleet blockading the planet. 

Only discovering the location of the Bunny fleet after hearing about the death of Emperor Easter, this small band of ships arrived sometime after the invasion started. They missed the initial chaos right after the passing of Easter and arrived only to find a ruthlessly efficient military rulership. So now they must wait and watch. They are constantly scanning the movements of the Bunnies, looking for and weakness or any signs of weakening. 

Leading this fleet of ships is The Dread Pirate Peep. Hailing from the planet Yolk, Pirate Peep once lived a quiet and peaceful life as a professor of chemistry. At the height of the Chick-Bunny wars in the era of Emperor Easter III and Colonel Cockerel, Peep was called on to serve her fellow chicks, hoping to utilize her skills as a chemist against the Bunnies and for the chicks.* During her service, Peep quickly proved herself as not only an exceptional chemist, but also as a genius tactician. In the earlier period of her military service Peep was lauded for her calculated, efficient, and elegant strategy that rivaled even that of Admiral BunBun. 

All that ended in a single night inn what became Admiral BunBun’s greatest regret. On a strategic mission to take out a key Chick outpost on the largest moon of Yolk, Albumen, the Bunnies were facing fierce opposition. Eventually the Admiral lost his patience and his temper and ordered the firing of all their nuclear turnip torpedoes against their enemies. The flurry of bombs decimated the enemy fleet, as well as all chicks living on the colonies of Albumen. 

The largest colony was named Marsh Mellow, after the marshy terraformed crater in which it was built and known for its mellow weather. In Marsh Mellow there was a prestigious university. Just off that campus lived the family of Professor Peep; 46 kids, 3 wives, and 4 husbands. And after one impulsive decision by a Bunny Admiral, they were now all gone. 

As a result of that action, all that Peep felt she had left was hatred and revenge; for Admiral BunBun, gripped by guilt, he vowed to never resort to such violent means again. Peep’s tactics in the war switched from being ruthless yet graceful to brutal and merciless. Blinded by her rage, Peep was starting to make more and more mistakes that allowed the Bunnies more and more victories. 

When Emperor Easter and Ambassador BunBun started to negotiate terms of peace, Peep grew furious. She could not comprehend how any Chick could possibly fathom peace talks with the bunnies, especially when those talks were being led by the sister of the very Admiral that caused the death of her wife and children. 

Outraged by the direction of the negotiations Peep, along with other like-minded Chicks, abandoned their posts. For the years after the war Peep and her fellow pirates, called “Peeps,” would raid the trade shipments going between Yolk and Carotene Prime. Though they were a constant thorn for both the Yolkels and Carotenoids, Pirate Peep was unable to strike the fear into either group that she wished. Not until the collapse of Carotene Prime. 

When the entire planet of Carotene Prime began to experience a fatal shortage of Beta Carotene, Peep took advantage of countless Bunnies during the evacuation. Entire Carrot Cruisers and Mother Chick Ships were destroyed by the Peeps. It was during this horrible time that Peep herself got the title of “Dread Pirate” among both Bunnies and Chicks. Much to Peep’s fury, Admiral BunBun was able to escape the carnage. But The Dread Pirate Peep knew it was just a matter of time before she would track down the Bunnies once again. And during that final fruitful raid, she now had near limitless resources. 

With the collapse Carotene Prime, Yolk also experienced a giant economic depression. With so many now desperate and destitute, they often turned to illegal and violent activities. The Dread Pirate gladly took many of these individuals to become fellow Peeps. Together, this band of ruffians scoured, raided, and pillaged the galaxy to enrich themselves and make sure that everyone else felt the same anger and pain that they felt. Then, after years of pirating, Peep finally got news on the location of the Bunnies. Not only did she learn the location of the Bunnies, but she was also informed of the passing of Emperor Easter. The only way the news could have sounded better to The Dread Pirate would be if the Bunnies were nearby. 

That was not the case. Instead, the Peeps missed the chaos leading up to the installation of martial law. So now they are patiently waiting and watching - waiting and watching for any opportunity to take advantage of the situation. Many of Peep’s peeps were hoping to gain further riches. The Dread Pirate Peep was hoping to finally get her revenge. 

Already, the pirates send out periodic Egg Drop-ships to the Earth when they are able to sneak past the blockade. With each trip the pirate chicks provide the humans with small bits of advanced technology they can use against the Bunnies in their resistance. 

* Chemical weapons were frequently used by each side. The advanced technology of both sides often quickly nullified the effects any chemical weapon such that they really were not much more effective than human guns and bombs.